I Need You To Guard My Body
by Sara47Q
Summary: Tony thinks he needs a bodyguard, Pepper thinks he needs a babysitter, and Darcy just wants to wear a pretty dress.


Saturday afternoon found Darcy painting her toenails in the Avengers shared living room, watching a marathon of Psych with Barton and trying to convince Steve that he should let her paint his toenails, too. The red would totally go with his shield, and no one outside of this room would ever have to know.

Then Hurricane Tony walked in.

"Darcy, I need a date."

"Do I look like E-Harmony to you?"

"C'mon, Darce. Pepper usually goes with me to these things to keep my adoring public at bay, but she's in LA."

"So you need a bodyguard?"

"Exactly!"

"You should take Natasha."

"She's on a mission. You and Mr. Sparky will be perfect, if Coulson hasn't had it confiscated."

"I'd like to see him try. So, what, exactly, is this thing and when do you need me?"

"It's tonight. Some charity thing Stark Industries donated a bunch of money to. The board wants me to make an appearance, blah blah blah."

"Tonight?"

"Yes."

"Are you under the impression that I have a lot of fancy dresses lying around?"

"Pepper keeps some in the guest room. Borrow one of hers."

Darcy gestured towards her chest with her nail brush. "Yeah, because I'm going to be able to get the girls into anything that fits Pepper Potts?"

"Good point." He pulls out his phone.

"Pepper? Yes, I asked her. She needs a dress…I can have JARVIS send you her measurements…..Fine." He holds the phone out to Darcy.

"Pepper?"

"Hey, thanks for doing this. I can't trust him to go alone. Or at all."

"So, I'm like, his babysitter?"

"Exactly. And please try to keep him as sober as possible."

Darcy snorted. "Do I have to put out?" Hmmm…who knew Steve's face could turn that shade of purple?

Pepper sighed and Darcy could practically hear her roll her eyes through the phone. "His medicals are clear, so I'll leave that up to you. It is in no way required."

"Ok, Boss Lady."

"I'll have a dress and shoes delivered in an hour. You're a lifesaver."

"Hey, I get a fancy dress out of the deal, just tell me I have authorization to hit him if necessary and it's the best day ever."

"Full permission. Now hand him back the phone."

She recapped her nail polish and started packing it all away so she could start getting ready. It didn't take long for Tony to finish up on the phone and he looked over.

"So, putting out?"

She looked him up and down. "We'll see."

* * *

><p>Darcy spent longer than usual getting ready. She knew going out with Tony would cause her to get her picture taken and there were a couple of ex-boyfriends and bitchy girls from school she wants to turn green with jealousy and envy.<p>

So while she sipped champagne at the swanky party in a gorgeous black dress, hair loose and curly, she knew she looked good. The look on Tony's face when he'd slid his sunglasses down to check her out, with a quick "You clean up nice, Lewis" let her know it was worth it. She looked sideways over at Tony and thought he looked pretty yummy, too, even if he was wearing those ridiculous sunglasses indoors and at night. And crap, why did she have to think that? Now that stupid song was going to be stuck in her head.

They'd been mingling for a while and she felt her babysitting was going well. Tony had not embarrassed himself in front of anyone and he was still sipping his first glass of scotch. She was on her second of champagne, but it was really good champagne, and she felt she deserved it.

She turned around when she heard a snotty voice, and saw a tall, cool blonde with a tape recorder. "Well, well, well, Tony Stark brought a girl to a party? That's not your normal style, is it? Usually you pick them up on your way out."

"And you are?" Darcy asked, feigning interest.

"Christine Everhart, Vanity Fair."

To Christine and Tony's surprise, Darcy laughed. "Oh, sweetie. You need to hide the bitter better."

"Excuse me?"

"You were hardly the first woman Pepper escorted out the morning after."

Christine spluttered, "That's not…I was doing an article…"

Tony slid his arm around Darcy possessively, enjoying the show. Christine looked at Tony. "She's awfully young, isn't she?"

Darcy answered, "He needs someone who can keep up with him. So much….stamina." She handed her champagne flute to Christine and looked at him with a little pout, "Actually, Tony, I think it may be getting close to my bedtime. Care to tuck me in?"

"I think that can be arranged." He handed his drink to Christine as well, enjoying her struggle with both drinks and her recorder as put his hand on Darcy's lower back to guide her towards the door.

They fell into the limo, giggling like naughty children; Tony sprawled across the seat with his head in her lap. "How did you even know about her?"

"Pepper and I talk."

"About _that_?"

"About a lot of things. She likes to let me know what I might have to deal with as your official SHIELD liaison."

"Press?"

"And pushy bitches." She looked a little apologetic, "I know Pepper probably would have handled it better..."

"You did fine. Put her in her place and didn't cause a scene."

She started combing her fingers through his hair, lightly massaging his scalp. She'd always wanted to, and this opportunity was too good to pass up. God, it feels just as soft as she'd imagined. And he seemed to enjoy it, taking his sunglasses off and closing his eyes. She was fairly certain he would wrinkle her pretty dress, but it would be worth it. She'd never seen him so relaxed and she was sure very few other people had. She thought he'd fallen asleep when he asked, "So, what did you decide?"

"About?"

"Putting out."

"Ah, that. Still undecided." He opened his eyes and looked up at her and she stopped her hand, holding it still with his hair still threaded in her fingers. He reached up to cup her cheek, rubbing lightly with his thumb.

"You should pick yes."

"It's probably a really bad idea." But God, she wanted to say yes.

"Probably."

"We work together. We practically live together. Could get awkward."

"Could." He trailed his fingers down her neck and along her collarbone.

"You won't be able to ditch me and never see me again like your normal girls."

His eyes had been following the progress of his fingers and now snapped back up to hers.

"Maybe I don't want to."

She closed her eyes and leaned her head back in the seat, her thoughts going a mile a minute.

She knew she should say no, but she really wanted to say yes, and she knew she would if she kept looking in his chocolate brown eyes. There were a million reasons why this was stupid. Fuck it, she finally decided, and looked back down at him. "I guess it depends, then."

He lifted an eyebrow. "On?"

"A couple of things. Did you invite me just to get me into bed?"

"The girl who tased the God of Thunder? I wouldn't dare. I just wanted a sexy bodyguard. What was the other thing it depends on?"

"On how many orgasms I get out of the deal."

He shot her a cocky grin. "As many as you can handle, honey."


End file.
